“A Stitch in Time saves Nine” – The benefits of pre-marital counselling

Are you thinking of getting engaged to the love of your life or have you chosen to make a lifelong commitment to your partner? You have no doubt been envisioning the perfect life the two of you will share together and, if you are getting married, how you will tackle the wedding plans. The benefits of premarital counseling were probably one of the farthest things from your minds!
However, consider these statistics…
• Couples who underwent counseling before their wedding had a 30% higher marital success rate than those who did not*
• 44% of couples who get married today agree to premarital counseling**
• The median amount of time couples spend in premarital counseling before getting married: 8 hours**

Most of the big decisions we make require a substantial amount of time, studying and planning. What school should I go to? What career should I pursue? Should we have children? Where should we go on vacation? If you are marrying your partner, more time often goes into the planning of the wedding than planning the actual marriage. There is no formal training in one of the most important relationship tasks, which is, creating a committed and long-lasting relationship.

Pre-marital (or pre-long-term commitment) counseling is an investment of time, money, and energy. Many couples choose to take that time together up front and ensure they do all they can to get it right.

I am level 3 trained in the Gottman Method of couples therapy and offer pre-marital (or pre-long-term commitment) therapy with the goal of thoughtfully preparing couples for a lifetime of partnership. Using Dr. John Gottman’s research and the “7 Principles for Making Marriage Work” ***, couples are provided a research-based model for helping to create a firm foundation.

Program 1
• In-depth relationship assessment based on Gottman’s bestselling book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.” This includes a joint session, individual sessions, and the online Gottman Institute’s Relationship Checkup tool
• Insight into key areas you will need to focus on to make your marriage last
• Handouts, homework and practical advice you can use to avoid the pitfalls so many couples make in the first years of marriage
• Learn how to process an argument or conflict after it’s happened
• Understand the importance of taking breaks and how to calm yourself down when emotionally overwhelmed.
• Develop skills to stop the toxic communication killers…criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.
Total time is 6 hours.

Program 2

• In-depth relationship assessment based on Gottman’s bestselling book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.” This includes a joint session, individual sessions, and the online Gottman Institute’s Relationship Checkup tool
• Insight into key areas you will need to focus on to make your marriage last
• Handouts, homework and practical advice you can use today to avoid the pitfalls so many couples make in the first years of marriage
• Learn how to process an argument or conflict after it’s happened
• Understand the importance of taking breaks and how to calm yourself down when emotionally overwhelmed.
• Develop skills to stop the toxic communication killers…criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.
• Learn the art of compromise and how to honor your partners dreams
• Learn how to develop rituals of connection in your relationship
Total time is 8 hours.

If you are interested, please phone or email Dr. Nina Woulff to arrange an appointment with me.

References:
* Carrol, J. S. & Doherty, W. J., (2004, February) Evaluating the Effectiveness of Premarital Prevention Programs: A meta-analytic review of the Outcome Research, Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Science. Retrieved from: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2003.00105.x

**Fader, S. (December 6, 2018). Pre-marital Counselling: What it is and why you should do it. Retrieved from: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/counseling/premarital-counseling-what-it-is-and-why-you-should-do-it/

***Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country’s foremost relationship expert. New York: Penguin Random House.