What is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy?
Submitted by Clinical Social Work Specialist Jennifer Mosgrove
Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT)? EFCT, or EFT (as it’s sometimes called), helps distressed couples make lasting changes in their relationship. It’s a very helpful approach for couples who feel like they are getting stuck and having the same arguments repeatedly. It also helps couples who feel like they don’t know how to work through their issues and then sweep them under the proverbial rug. These patterns, (getting caught in conflict, or avoiding conflict) can leave people feeling confused, sad, uncertain, lonely, angry, misunderstood and hurt.
Does EFCT really work? Yes – EFCT is backed by research showing that about 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and about 90% see significant improvement. It’s considered one of the most effective forms of couple therapy. EFCT works with deeper emotions and the needs behind your interactions, influencing how you communicate and understand each other.
EFCT helps you feel safer and more understood in your relationship, which makes it easier to solve problems and enjoy each other again.
EFCT can help when you are:
- Feeling stuck in the same argument loop, having the same fight over and over again
- Not connecting as well as you used to
- Feeling lonely in your relationship
- Feeling blamed, or like you just don’t seem to be able to get it right no matter what you do
- Dealing with the aftermath of an affair
- Facing a major life change… health issue, moving, loss, new opportunities that will change your lives
- Wanting more intimacy
What to expect in a session: When we first meet, I will meet with you both together to get a picture of what’s been happening within your relationship. For the next couple of sessions, I will meet with each of you individually to better understand what your hopes are for the relationship and what you’re needing from it. From then on, I typically meet with you both together. In the sessions, I help you both express what you’re feeling and needing, often things that are hard to say on your own. You’ll begin to see the negative cycles you’re stuck in, and how to get out of this pattern. Together you’ll find more positive, supportive patterns where you feel seen, heard and understood by each other.
